Noggenfogger Interlude

Halyra insisted Thaag climb Mount Hyjal with her.

"Okay, what do I have to do to climb Mount Hyjal?" Thaag asked.

"First, you have to get to Winterspring. The Timbermaws guard the mountain pass there and they don't trust anyone who doesn't swear allegiance."

"How do I swear allegiance to them?"

"You have to kill their enemies and show the Timbermaws proof that you don't mind killing off their enemies."

A troll's femur and a well-thrown handful of that nasty Felwood dirt saved her from donating her own anatomy to the Timbermaws' paranoia. Bruises speckled Thaag's teal skin as she limped through the snow and ice into Everlook. She felt pleasantly warm to see a telescope there. Memories danced merrily in her head of Gazlowe's observatory and long, balmy nights sipping on coconut juice and studying the Great Map with her sisters, giggling over that cute Revantusk boy that daddy 'Olelo kept bringing over to Ratchet to play with Thaag.

Thaag suddenly missed Gaz'din.

"Did you bring the Nogg?" Halyra's enthusiastic voice sundered the memory. Thaag had never seen such an excitable Tauren.

"Nogg?"

"Noggenfogger elixir!"

Thaag looked around. "Um, no. What do you need it for? Maybe Le Veau can--"

"No, Le Veau can't." Sigh. "Do you have anything that makes you fall slowly?"

"I have my cloak."

"What's special about your cloak?"

"It makes me fall slowly." Thaag showed Halyra the straps and strings that made her favorite, most cumfy-wumfy cloak slow an emergency fall. Halyra shook her head.

"Nope, won't work long enough," she declared. "You really need Nogg."

Thaag sighed. "Who sells Nogg?"

Halyra pulled on her horns. "Marin Noggenfogger, in Gadgetzan! I thought you had a goblin License of Doom? Can't you just push a button and *be* there or something?"

Thaag looked at her License of Doom. "No, it says *the bearer of this card is entitled to learn the Sooper Seekrit Thingy of Everlook.* Okay, where is the union rep..."

Halyra grabbed Thaag's wrist (luckily the bone had just finished knitting) and yanked her toward the Wyvern Whisperer.

"Talk to Marin Noggenfogger," Halyra repeated. Thaag sighed and agreed. After donating to the Save Highperch In Thousand Needles (SHITN) charity fund, the Wyvern Whisperer whispered into a wyvern's ear and then helped the exhausted troll climb upon the flyin' lion's back. Thaag fell asleep during the flight.

The moon shone brightly over Tanaris. Marin was doing the Dew again, and fed his addiction to the Dew by manipulating intrepid explorers into getting his Dew for him. Thaag knew about the Dew. The Dew had the same stuff in it as the sacred Juju-nut bean that Blivi chewed during her weird ceremonies where she went off to worship a rock or a puddle or something. The Dew had the same stuff in it that the goblins she grew up amongst would drink to stay awake during their all-night Tool Time ritual tinkering parties, and share with the outside world as part of their Winter Veil festivities. Thaag knew all about that stuff. Thaag's "guildren" had all pledged their own form of allegiance with a cup of that stuff quaffed in other secret locations. (It was also the Death in Deathweed, but no one eats Deathweed. And breeds.)

Yes, it was that stuff that made Halyra so excitable.

Thaag agreed to go find the Dew. It came from a mobile plant that roamed around cactus in southern Tanaris, sucking what little moisture could be found on the skin of the cactus at night when the water could condense. Marin wasn't a lazy gobin (no such thing anyway) not to want to get the Dew himself: those nasty bug-people had begun to infest the desert lately. Silly-something, they were called. Disgusting, they prefered to dwell in giant heaps of rotten flesh and the dung of something putrid. Thaag put on her diving helmet to avoid having to breathe the fetid stench and thereby avoid also vomiting constantly while trying to sneak up on one of those walking plants. The plants really didn't like having someone pluck their dew gland.

The addictive and invigorating component of The Dew was a yellowish, vile substance so bitter it could kill. Thaag still needed the Nogg from Marin and Marin needed his cook Sprinkle to treat the Dew so it could be potable.

"By the Great Tinkerer, he's on his Dew kick again, huh?" Sprinkle asked with a smirk. "Give me the dew gland, I just need to dip a tragan cap into it."

Sprinkle vanished into her pantry. Thaag heard some interesting clashes, scrapes, and clatters emit from the small room as Sprinkle searched for her stash of tragan caps.

"Crap. I'm all out. I should get a shipment in three days though!"

Halyra would not wait three days.

Thaag fell asleep on the wyvern ride to Orgrimmar. On the zeppelin ride to Undercity, a very pretty trollboy playfully smeared some of his purple face-paint on Thaag's nose. Gaz'din had started doing just that when they were expecting.

Before the zeppelin reached the tower, Thaag unfurled her tinker's cloak and jumped off. She heard the pretty trollboy cry in dismay.

As she landed, she pulled out the directions Sprinkle had given her. The lake this dumb mushroom grew in lay southeast of Quel'Danil Lodge.

BY ORGRIM'S CRUSTY CODPIECE! That meant...oh no. Not Revantusk.

Anything but Revantusk.

....maybe he was at another village today. After all, his dad was the chief. Thaag knew all about Gaz'din's job as the chief's son.

The sun had already arisen on the side of the world where Revantusk village sat like a glittering green jewel upon the sands of the Hinterlands' shoreline by the time Thaag's wyvern landed there. As she stepped off the pier, a small projectile slammed into her leg.

The little green missile landed on her little green okole and peered up in apology at Thaag. She had Gaz'din's orange eyes and Gaz'din's pink hair.

A woman arrived in seconds. "Thaad! Cut that out!" She scooped up the little girl. Thaag's eye caught a familiar pendant dangle from the mother's neck. The woman did a double-take when she saw Thaag's own pendant.

"I'm sorry," she stammered.

"It's fine," Thaag replied. She kissed the little girl and ran off to get the stupid mushroom.

********************

When they emerged from their refreshing swim in the Well of Eternity some hours later, Halyra said, "Don't you *ever* let me catch you taking off your diving helmet down there again, do you hear me?"