Funniest WoW stories

Hey everyone, I was just wondering what humorous stories you had about playing in WoW. Post them here if you want to share!

Maybe it's the deceptively Santa-like
appearance of my character model, but
I seem to attract youngsters in this
game. Now I don't mind helping new
players or kids who actually need
help and are polite about it, but all too
often they want power leveling and
handouts.

The following account is typical,
and lest anyone think I'm being an old
Scrooge, bear in mind that at no time
during this encounter were the words
"thank you" uttered or remotely implied.

So I'm chilling out at Lushwater Oasis
after a hard day of whatever the hell
level-capped people do, just fishing
and knocking back a few, when a lowbie
night elf shows up and starts fishing
my school and emoting frantically.

I say what I always say when they
try to talk to me: "bur goth dana
ruff bla bla bla". He disappears
and a minute later there's a troll
in his place, named Killrmage or
Dethmagik or something.

Kid: "WHAT WERE U SAYING????"

Me: "Eh?"

Kid: "that elf was me what were u saying???"

Me: "I ah, said I don't dig your lingo".

Kid: "LOL" {laugh emote, dance emote} did u
kno what I was doing???"

Me: "Hm?"

Kid: "when I got a good fish i danced and when
i got a bad fish i cried" {more emotes}

Me: "Yeah I usually throw back the tiddlers".

Kid: "lol" {dance, jump} "im 13 how old r u?"

Me: "Pretty old kid. Jumping's fun huh?"

Kid: "lol how old r u rly?"

Me: "Well, let's just say I'm about to get my mount".

Kid: {doesn't get it} "ok lol"

I clear a few kolkars so they don't kill him.

Kid: "WHAT WAS THAT SPELL???"

Me: "Eh?"

Kid: "when you shot them all with one shot"

Me: "Oh, chain lightning"

Kid: "how do u learn that???"

Me: "It's a shaman thing"

Kid: "i bet you cant solo wc"

Me: {red light flashes in brain, and this
experience officially stops being quaint}
"Yeah I suck at dungeons".

Kid: (menacingly) "will u be my friend?"

Me: (tries to think of a joke to distract him, old
synapses don't fire fast enough) "Er, okay".

Kid: {dance, cheer, sleep, laugh, point}

Me: "Well I gotta go get some stuff on the
AH, see you around kid".

I gain ghost wolf and head for the Crossroads.

Kid: "HEY WHERE U GOING LOL HOW DO U DO THAT???"

I leg it to the flight master and zip to Org,
all the while thinking of a line from Rime Of
The Ancient Mariner, something about not looking
back for fear that "just behind a fiend doth
tread"

Kid: {behind me} "sry im not as fast as you
do you have anything I can have???" {begins
spamming the beg emote}

Me: "Like what?"

Kid: "i dont kno anything plz i dont have anything"

Me: "I don't keep stuff your level and I'm not
a tailor, so I guess not."

Kid: "i have a hunter too can u give me anything for
him plz???" {many, many more beg emotes}

Me: "I could see if my leather guy can make
you some lowbie stuff. Hang on."

I log my rogue and make him some greens. I return
to find him beg-emoting everyone in the bank, the
entire chat log scrolling with various permutations of
"begs....how pathetic" and "shoos away, begone pest".

Kid: "can u make these to leather???" {hands
me 6 ruined leather scraps - I turn them
into light leather for him}

Kid: "HEY I GAVE U 6 AND U ONLY GAVE 2 BACK!!!"

Me: "It takes 3 scraps to make one leather".

Kid: "i kno do you have anything else
I can have plz???"

Me: "Here try this". {I hand him a deviate fish,
he becomes a pirate or something}.

Kid: "WHATS HAPPENING WHAT DID U DO!!!"

Me: "It's the fish", (anticipating his next
question) "from a recipe I bought off
the auction house".

Kid: {tries all the human emotes} "WOW HOW
DO I LEARN THAT???"

Me: "From a recipe you can buy off the auction
house".

Kid: "will u help me???"

Me: "With what?"

Kid: "i don't kno will u help me???"

Me: "Do you have some hard group quests
or something?"

Kid: "i don't kno i want to make a shaman
what kind is best?"

Me: "Races you mean? I think trolls look
cool in shaman gear but there's not
much difference".

Kid: "what kind would level fastest with u
helping me???"

Me: {mind in shock from the words "with u
helping me"}

Kid: "what kind should i make???"

Me: "Uh, troll I guess".

Kid: "im going to make an orc will u help me???"

Me: "I don't really think you need a level
70 to help you kill boars in the
Valley of Trials".

Kid: {angrily} "SO UR JUST GOING 2 LEAVE ME THEN???"

Me: {sigh} "Okay". {Spends a half hour killing
yellow boars and scorpids for him, and
looking for cactus apples}.
"I really gotta hit the sack now kid".

Kid: "see u back tomorrow ill be lvl 10 by then"

Me: {plays alts for a while}.

We all have problems with people playing the in-correct faction, Bhug.

you just happened to handle your situation better then i do most of mine.

You handeled that quite well. I would just do /ignore.

I'd just like to add, WHAT A RIPOFF IN THE STALKER
DEPARTMENT. Instead of dangerous ladies of mystery
I get 13 year old boys. Me not that kind of orc!

i lol'ed.

Kinda stupid for a thirteen year old, isn't he? I have a thirteen year old sister who usually complains about this sort of thing to me when it happens to her on Runescape (she's rather high-level there).

Since we're on the topic of bothersome begging children, I might as well bring up the tale of "Tayter", the Scourge of Bloodhoof.

So anyways, if you haven't guessed, this took place on the Bloodhoof server. The server friendliness scale goes something like this:

Nice: Argent Dawn <-- Steamwheedle Cartel <--- Bloodhoof <--- Baelgun <---- Haomarush :Not Nice

For quite some time, Tayter, a Tauren (I can't remember if he was a warrior or a hunter) was spamming trade, offering to sell greens and random vendor-bought objects for prices usually around fifty gold. Trade channel would usually respond with comments such as, "wow tayter your not funny go die", "ignored.", or "guys, i think hes just kidding." Despite this idiocy, Tayter has surprising decent spelling, and from the times he'd spoken to me, I don't recall many errors.
Tayter was not much of an issue to me, because I'm always a fan of someone disrupting the Trade Channel, as long as I'm not trying to use it, and the only times I'd ever see him were standing around Orgrimmar in cloth healing items twelve levels below him. Somehow, he managed to get up to around level 34, despite seemingly always being in Orgrimmar on the Trade channel.
One day when I was just minding my own business in Orgrimmar, he suddenly and inexplicably invited me to a group. He didn't type anything in party chat, but I saw the Voice Chat box with his name on it on the bottom of the screen. When I play WoW and am not on Vent/VC/TS, I listen to music, so I turned off my music and got out my mic.
Tayter's voice was something like an eight year on crack cocaine, if I'm allowed to say something like that. He had an extremely high, whiny, and very rapid voice that was something I could swear I hadn't heard in all my days of elementary school.
(Via VC): (note, my character name was Bloodphoenix on Bloodhoof)
Tayter: "UH HI I'M TAYTER"
Me: "Hello, Tayter. Do you need something?"
Tayter: "UM YES BLUH-BLOO-BLUH-BLOOD-FEE-ON-NIX"
Me: "It's 'Bluhd-fee-nix'."
Tayter: "I HAVE THIS [Soul Dust] HOW MUCH DO I SELL IT FOR?"
Me: "Hm, I don't remember, try checking the Auction House"
Tayter: "WHERE IS THE AUCTION HOUSE I DO NOT KNOW WHERE IT IS WHERE IS IT?"
Me: "Ugh, follow me."
*goes to Auction House*
Tayter: "CAN I HAVE 15 GOLD PLEASE"
Me: "For what?"
Tayter: "I NEED TO GET GEAR THERE IS A RING IN THE AUCTION [Twilight Cultist Ring]."
Me: "Let me explain: That item is level 60, it is for an Azerothian quest, so it won't be much use to you if you ever get to that level, and it is hideously overpriced. It should not be 15g."
Tayter: "WHAT DID YOU SAY? I NEED THIS IT IS HIGH LEVEL GEAR I NEED"
Me: "You can't use it."
Tayter: "GIVE ME FIVE GOLD THEN." (more of a demand than a question)
Me: "Whatever, okay, just don't ask me for anything else."
*gives Tayter 5g*
Tayter: "THANK YOU I JUST BOUGHT YOU A GIFT"
Me: "You bought me a gift... with my own money?"
Tayter: "I'M GOING TO GET IT. STAY HERE"
*he returns and brings me a [Silver Tabby Cage], something I already have*
Me: "Um, thanks."
Tayter: "OKAY NOW CAN I HAVE 15G"
Me: "I just gave you 5g. Do you want to get something other than the ring?"
Tayter: "YES [Imbued Netherweave Tunic]"
Me: "You can't use that.. and it is more than 15g"
Tayter: "THATS OKAY I HAVE 30g CAN YOU GIVE ME 15?"
Me: "You have enough money already."
Tayter was halfway through saying something, and my power went out of a minute because of a storm outside.

Later, when Tayter went rampaging on Trade by spammiing "GAME OVER" and "I WIN SO SHUT UP", me and a few dozen other people were going to report him...
Until I was informed by someone who knew him irl that he was twelve years old, and had something "not right with his brain he has a brain problem", according to what Tayter's dad told this person, and that Tayter's parents made him play WoW so he could socialized in a safe-manner with people his own age (though he should have rolled Alliance for that). Upon being told this, I closed the ticket.

Thank you for that inspiring string of screenshots tomoe!

You just brought me to expect Tokus here to always get the last hit on a boss that is about to wipe us!